88. POLICE TROUBLE
What Research Shows
Most people go their whole lives actively avoiding contact with the police. If your loved one is suddenly accumulating run-ins with law enforcement, do not ignore it. This is a major warning sign that their decision-making process has fractured due to alcohol or drug abuse. Substances chemically dismantle the brain's "brake pedal"—the logical part of the mind that warns us against risky or illegal behavior. When sober, your loved one might easily walk away from a heated argument or avoid trespassing. Intoxicated, they lose that protective fear. Minor charges like public intoxication, noise complaints, or disorderly conduct are often dismissed by family members as "bad luck" or "just a prank." But in reality, these messy, impulsive incidents are loud signals that they have lost the ability to self-regulate.
What You See
It is important to distinguish this chaotic trouble from principled civil disobedience. When someone is arrested for a political protest, it is a planned, disciplined choice. In contrast, legal trouble stemming from addiction is reactive, disorganized, and usually met with deep regret the next morning. If your loved one’s life is suddenly filled with legal close calls and minor arrests, they aren't just having a run of bad luck. The chaos of these interactions is the direct result of a mind altered by chemicals. Don't wait for a major felony before you take this warning seriously; their eroding inhibitions are pushing them into dangerous territory.
What You Can Do
For underage loved ones, the choices you have are clear: Take any police or criminal involvement very seriously and accept no excuses beyond the hard core evidence that there has been a run in with the law. Take the appropriate steps to not insulate or minimize them from the full effects of such involvement, but engage in a very strong constructive detachment from what they need to do to clear themselves on this involvement (see CODEPENDENCY). For loved ones considered adults, it is equally important that they not be insulated from feeling the full effects of their involvement, and not paying for bail, or a lawyer, or sny restitution they may have to pay is the first step in that direction.
This sign is for awareness and education only. It is useful as a screening tool, not a diagnostic tool. It is not a substitute for professional assessment or treatment. If you are concerned about someone you love, speaking with a qualified addiction counselor or psychologist is always the right next step.